Being single or staying single is becoming more common these days for both women and men. In the western world, it is a choice of living for many. In Bangladesh, being single is more circumstantial rather than a choice. Two most generic reasons for being single are, not finding the right partner to live with, or getting a divorce. We would like to take a look at the hard facts of staying single; how the society is treating a single person, especially single woman. This is a huge area of discussion; therefore, we invite our readers to put their thoughts into this.

I know a Bangladeshi woman, highly educated, never got married. I know another woman who was once married, now divorced. Both are independent, holding good professional positions in two different cities in the US. And yet, they both carefully avoid the Bengali communities in their areas. Because people would bad-mouth, talk against their backs only because they are single. Bangladeshi single women whether they live in Bangladesh or in the western countries, face similar difficulties. Whether she is unmarried or divorced, the society would try to blame her. If she is highly educated, the society would blame her education and independence for her single being.

I was reading one of our bloggers’ comments on the previous discussion, When to get married: Before or after graduation? In the response no. six, our blogger made a good point: In many Asian and Middle-eastern cultures, an unmarried woman is called many bad names behind her back. She is treated like an outcast. She does not get any help from people of her own cultural/religious backgrounds. ….. Wouldn’t this world be a better place if they just showed some genuine compassion and care to an unmarried woman?

Staying single is associated with many difficulties, both financial and emotional. Let’s not make it more difficult by adding social stigma to it. Single woman should not keep herself away from enjoying life. To all single women, please be outspoken, outgoing, get involved with things that you have always liked to do. Get involved in organizational and community activities! If you happen to find someone you can count on, take the share of your life with him. Finally, please be independent! No matter in what society you are in, try to get financial independence first. Rather than being at the mercy of the society, please take the charge of your own life; make your place stronger in the society!

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How does the nepalese community view single Nepalese women??

I am not sure if any of that stuff is around anymore. It was mostly on blogspot, yahoo, and google. Honestly, there isn't anything worth reading there. It was mostly rants and raves about all and sundry. Google "the rants of an eccentric Nepali blogger" and you might just come across it! :) I lost the one I had on yahoo because of account inactivity :-|

Hey, btw, I am a few chapters into Freakonomics, if you recall from another thread. It's pretty amusing.

Have a good weekend!

tough luck!...googled it..wasn't much help though.. saw a politically charged blogger in e-blogger who went by the name "nepali blogger"...but i doubt thats u...

freakonomics!! never went beyond the first few pages as the weekend ensued promising fun-filled days...then i got to reading J.d. salinger's The Catcher in the Rhye..which definately was a good read... apparently reminded me of my "best time of life"...

have a great weekend!

Staying single is your choice. Whatever makes you happier. I think in nepal, woman who stays unmarried are called "budhi kanya". Haven't heard anyone giving bad name to a single woman. People talk behind your back even if you're next to perfect. It's not possible to impress everyone.

Av, mere humdum (btw I have not seen humdrum lately) do you mind me spilling the beans?:P
Captain_Haddock (your name says everything :)), her satan -in-disguie is none other than you re kya. Don't mind my blabber cos I tend to get carried away sometimes, but that was a pure compliment. Been an ardent fan of yours. People like you and few more others make our visit worthwhile.

Have a great weekend!

flippu!! "humdum" huh...i like that ;) ...u back from work?? ...will have to buzz u ..whats up with "spilling the beans?" humm..i wonder. hehe...

btw..happy dashain!! will miss ur company..

Good choice

Oh my,my! Flip Flop, I thought I was the one with the wicked streak but it looks like when it comes to formenting mischief, someone is way ahead of the curve, huh?

LOL!

PS: I admire your incredible sense of humour and modesty.

:)

Ratobhaley, and your sense of humor, is pretty dry.

Av, yes life-long friend. You say what? Sure sure my ears all to you.

Captain_Haddock, I happen to be a tanget at times unconsciously but never intended to be one! :)

Aye Aye Cap'n

And my favorite drink is Dry Gin -:)

single women to me are the sexiest creatures on earth. i have huge crush for women who can live on their own, solely. it's not imperative to have a companion if you can be a guest of your own.
once, i went to a village in nepal and got a chance to meet with this woman who was probably in her mid-twenties and a divorcee. her husband used to drink and beat her to death each day, so she divorced him and was living by her own with her 2 yrs. old daugher. fortunately, she had enough land that she could use for agriculture purpose and hence she was able to earn a living for her and her daughter. i glistened with ecstacy to have gotten a chance to meet with her. i literally saluted her for her courage to be able to put up with the challenge that her life offered to her. BRAVO!!!

single women rock!!!

LooTe

Hey, don't remind me of drinks, man! :) Can't wait to get out and hit the bar tonight.

But, no offense,Ratobhaley, I must honestly say that picture was in poor taste - hope your next glass of G&T leaves a better taste in your mouth than the taste you left on this thread with that picture.

Nevertheless, have a good one, and enjoy your Dry Gin :)

hey ratobhaley,

that pic reminds me of the state i was in last night when there was no-one around but me and my lonliness hahahahaha :P


LooTe

Lootekukur, my buddy old pal, you have lost it completely!

:))

hahaha..captain.

you stole my thunder when you said i lost it...i got so nervous for a second that i had to examine... and am glad to find it intact haha:P

LooTe
P.S. sorry for the digression :P, i still believe that single women rock! they don't miss anything! hehe :P

Pervert!

If only you could change the way you think, I am sure you wouldn't find yourself so lonely. Poor you! :D

Have a good weekend

if only i could be less pervert, i would not be lonely anymore? hehe :P. there was this girl who dumped ((literally) a friend of mine for not being pervert enough hahaha :P

you have a rocking weekend deviod of any perversion :P

LooTe

Some of the feedback from the article were as follows:

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In addition to Flower’s comment, I would say these women do not mingle with deshi community because some of the deshi women are really nosy and ask too personal questions right away. A friend of mine who is single (living in US) said that some women became too protective about their husbands just because there is a pretty, smart and independent single woman around… how sad!

Not only women, some men (in her case married deshi men) often tried to send some sort of dirty signals as if single women are easily available to flirt around. I donot blame these single women for not mingling with the community. Of course we should not judge the entire community based on some people, but it takes only a few bad experiences to make a personal decision about life.

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SOMETIMES it a sense of jealousy works in people who relates the personality of a single women to arrogance. Those who got married and are busy raising child have lesser time for their career while a single women has more opportunity for that. This fact MAY also give some sort of resentment (and jealousy) to the main streamers.

I personally have seen relatively better scenarios in different cities I lived in the US. I think it is the group of people I chose to socialize with. When a person see the community as a whole it may be hard to find the people you like, my suggestion is to be open, that way there is higher chance to find good hearted friends. It’s not fun to avoid people (mean one’s own community).

It needs some proactive measure as well. In one case at least, I was able to turn a good number of people in my community to be respectful to one of my single friend (divorced with two kids).

When a single woman can successfully socialize with other people, the people in the community will be able to realize, “Hmm, she is not that arrogant we thought before”. It is beneficial in both directions.

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hey guys!! thanks for this thread. it is really good to have a single friend and she should be a woman. she would cook for you, call you for the ocassional dinner and much more. i am not interested of the food but i am really interested on that raw uncooked meat (flesh). i hope i would have more and more educated, divorced or unmarried single friends. i really appreciate the idea of the gals who are single and ready to mingle with clean handsome guy every day.that way we wll get all kinds of gals. asian to african and european to americans and latino to hispanic and all and all. god bless america