I had just came home, when I saw every one in the family sitting around the small fire place (chu-low) in the kitchen. I always wanted to asked something to my father since I was a little kid, but I couldn?t, actually was scared. I thought today is the perfect day to ask him about it. That day was my birthday, but no one remembered not even my mom, & not even me my self. But, later that day I knew, when my neighbor, who is a teacher in a one primary school in my village (gau) told me that now I m 8 years and she suggested me to join the school.

That day at night, it was about 8 p.m. I was not even sure, because we never had a wall clock. It was dinner and everyone was on floor on the piece of wood (pirka). Our dinning room was just a part of our kitchen. There was nothing special except a room full of smoke, floor covered with mud. On my plate was 4 roties and *dhido* and some vegetables and its soup in a bowl (ka-chau-ra). Vegetables were fresh, and it were from our own kitchen garden. Which was just few foot below our house (ghar). Rotis were like a piece of dry leaf.

?Dad (buba)? I said

He stared me like, I did something very wrong.

?Do u want to say something?? he replied after a long pause.

?Yes, dad (ba)? I answered in a low voice.

?Go ahead? he said, as he was eating.

?Dad (ba), now I m 8 years old and I want to go to school?? I said proudly

?What?..? (Ke-re??.?)? my mom shouted.

?Don?t come between me and Ma-nay?s conversation, manay ke aama? my dad told

Actually, Milan was my real name, but no one calls from my real name.

I don?t know why, I guess they lov like that, and even I lov this name: Ma-nay.
?But why Ma-nay?? my dad (buba) questioned

?Every kid in our village goes to school, and I?m the only one who stays home and feeds and has to looks after cattles, and clean up their shi*?

My mom was pretty mad by that time, and her anger raised. As she said pardon me, ma-nay, I understood what she meant.

?But, your brother does the same work as you do, and he never asked to go to school !?

?Son, if you are really interested on going to school, and want to fulfill your aim. Then, I am not stopping you to do so.?

? I am proud that you want to go to school, and you can join from tomorrow?
My eyes were full of tears, as my buba was saying those words. I didn?t know what to say at that time. I just hugged my *ba* and went upstairs and waited for the sun to rise.

?Oh, so you want to read huh?!? my brother asked

I Nodded.

?Do you want to join school with me, Hari?? I asked

?Thanx broda, but I am happy with my job and mei life. Don?t u try to split some shi* in my life?, he warned me.

?Anyway, all the best for your first day of school?

My brother Hari hates school. He loves hanging out with cattle, cutting grasses for them, and milking cows and buffaloes, and drinking half of the milk. He is 5 years older than me and he never think of going to school. And also because no one forced him to.

I went to my bed, which was actually, just a piece of mattress (das-na) half of it was added by my mom with some pieces of cloths. I tried to sleep but I couldn?t. All these crazy feeling were all running around my mind. I haven?t ever entered inside the school once in my life before. By the that time, it was so dark outside, and it was more darker because of on light. We never had light bulbs. All we used was a candle (Two-key) As the darkness increased I was afraid and hide my body inside the blanket. A blanket!, it was just some pieces of old clothes.

So, I started my school, the day after I got permission from my father. I had nothing except my interest in study, not even a copy to write and pencil to write with. I just learned everything our teacher taught on the black board, actually it was a brown board because it was made out of mud. And stick was a source to write on it.

Continue........On NEXT page

Continue.................................

One day, we had a feast in our neighbor. Every single person in that village was there. Even Mr. Pandit.
?Ma-nay, why aren?t you eating your dessert?? one of my friend asked
?I don?t want to eat??
?Can I eat it?? he asked
?No!, I am saving it for dinner?
But, actually I was saving it for something else. In your village we have feast on someone?s house every week. And, ever since when I started school, all the dessert I got in the feast; I used to save it. Everyone?s lips used to be white after drinking a whole glass of milk, but not mine. I make every single dessert I got about a liter or a kilogram, and sell it in the market to get some educational material. I bought only copies, pencil. I used those which were ready to be recycled. I never bought a single until I was in college.
My teacher said that I was too old to be in 1st grade. So, I spent first 4 months in first grade, other 4 in 2nd and the last 4 in 3rd grade. When I was 9 years old I was in 4th grade, and my study was excellent. I never hated school, and never hated not going to school. Our school started at 7?o clock in the morning and I had to leave at 6 o? clock and had to walk 2.5 miles to reach school. There used to be nothing for me to eat as a breakfast. Just a glass of water. And that was enough for me because I was getting used to. After school when I reach home, again nothing and no used to be at home. Inside in the kitchen, just a empty pots and a small place with 2 pieces of dried bread, with two pieces of potatoes. I never had rice except for the dinner. Everyone in my school used to say a lot of thing about their mom, and the food made from their hand. But I never tasted a really good delicious before. Not even a fresh bread.
After few years it was the day. I had to leave my village. The school in my village had only till 7th grade, and the one in my aunt?s village had till 10th grade. After 10 it was the college. I was happy, but my family members were not. My family had very low income, and we had some farms but it was not much productive as other. Seeing all those, I didn?t think of getting back and helping my family. I was concentrating on my aim. I know my family needs me, but they can live without me too. Hari is there to help them. However, I left my village with lots of tears in the eyes and sadness on my heart. I left my village early in the morning, I walked about 25 miles on the cold sharp edges rocks without any shoes. I never had a shoe before. And walking on the cold rocks made me felt the importance of warm shoes.
I reached there, and aunt and her 4 sons were there welcoming me at the door. I was really excited to meet them.
?Son, now this your home, and never ever think that this is your aunt?s home?
?I won?t aunt?
?Hi, I am Pa-rey?
?I am Pawan?
?And, I am Pramod?
?I am Milan, you guys can call me Ma-nay?
I had never seen them before. Well, my mom said that I have seen them but I don?t even remember when I saw them. They were like my brother and never made me feel like I am away from my home. My aunt never neglected me. She loved me equally as to their sons. She gave us everything she could that would help us.
I started my school after a week I reached there. I was really fun for some months. But after several months, I missed my family. I wanted to see them or just listen to their voice. I know it not possible. I cant even call my mom because phone line is ? mile away from our home. And in our village there isn?t even a phone line for 5miles.

Continueeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............................



One day I was on the balcony just remembering my past day, when suddenly----
?What are doing son? the voice came from my back
?Oh, aunt!?
?Nothing, I am just thinking that what my mom, dad, and brother are doing right now?
?Do you miss your mom & dad?? she asked
I nodded, and tears fell off my eyes.
?Ok, then I will tell someone to bring your letter to your mom when someone is going to your village?
?But, aunt I haven?t write a letter? I said
?Then, write now?
I quickly headed toward my room, and stared to write a letter. I didn?t know how to start. I had so much to say that I couldn?t think of what to write. I wrote like a 6 pages letter asked aunt for an envelop. She gave it to me and I wrote my detail address. My letter was reached after a month I wrote.
One year passed and now I was in 9th grade. Days were going as usual. One morning as the same morning but it was little cold that day. We were walking towards the school.
?Ma-nay? Pramod called
?Huh?
?Here?s the bush?
?Oh, yea?
?Now, quickly put the cucumber inside the bush, so one will see it, HURRY!!!?
?Ok, Ok, don?t shout? I said
After putting cucumber inside the bush which was our lunch. We all rushed to the school. We all used to still cucumbers from some villagers garden and we hide it in some bush. And while returning home, we all used to eat it. But that day, when Pramod tried to take out the cucumber there was nothing inside the bush. We all were shocked. Everyone was looking at each other. Everyone nodded, and tried to say that they don?t know anything about it.
?Pa-rey, what happen to the cucumber?? Pawan asked
?I don?t know? he replied
?Then who knows, you SOB!!!?
? Pawon, shut up? Pramod shouted
?He is the one who says every secret of ours to his friends? Pawon complained
?Did you tell anything? Pa-rey?
?Not a word? Pa-rey tried to convince
?OK, then lets try to still another one? I said
?Whatever? Pawon replied,
Everyone one of us were so hungry that no reasons were need to be angry. We hadn?t eat since morning and it was 5?o clock. I stool some cucumber, but had to run a lot.

Days were going well, and my study was not bad too. I had above 90% in every single subjects. It was the end of the year. I will be in 10th grade & my year of graduation. After some months, I passed 9th grade with 94.19%. I was happy, and everyone one was proud of me. I got the letter from my mom. She wrote a lots of thing and she said that she is missing me and lot, and she wants me to finish my education. And then come back to my own village.
It was November of my graduation year. At January we will have SLC (a final exam for 10th grader). One day suddenly a man came to our home. And asked us to come with him, and didn?t even let us ask why he is taking us to the road. He went near a small truck, and I went there too. I saw a old man lying on the truck. That old my was my dad. He told us everything and what had happen to my dad.
?Dad are you ok?? I asked
But there was no reply. He couldn?t talk. We quickly took him to the hospital. Doctor said that he have some kind of illness. He needs a surgical operation quickly. I used all my money that I had. I earned those money my giving tuition to the lower grade students. Operation was successful. But my dad still couldn?t talk. No one came from the village to see dad. Not even my mom, or my brother. My SLC was on the way. I was alone with dad all day long looking after him. I missed whole month of study. I was kind a upset, because by doing and spending all the time studying I end up with my dad beside me who couldn?t talk. The most important that broke my heart was that my mom and my brother didn?t came to see dad. I was very disappointed. After a month my dad was discharged, and we informed that news to my mom. Some men form the village came and took dad, and I didn?t even went to my village. After some weeks I had SLC. I went to my friends home, and copied his notes and learned from there.
At exam I didn?t do good. My result was 64.65%. I was not satisfied with my village. I was very upset about it. All the hard work I did for 8 years and I got nothing?. I cried a lot. After several days I went to my village. But I couldn?t stay there longer.
?Mom, dad I want to say something to you and its very important?
?Go ahead? dad replied
?Dad, don?t you want me to be a successful man??
?Of course, son?
?Dad I have decided to go to Kathmandu, and work there?
?What? my mom shouted
?Where you going to go and live in Kathmandu? my mom asked
?In Ram P. uncle?s apartment (dey-ra)?
?You aren?t going anywhere, Ma-nay, and that?s final?
?Dad, I have already decided and I am leaving tomorrow?
?OK, then do whatever you want? my dad shouted
By living in my village, I thought I can?t fulfill my dream. I wanted to be a successful man. So, I decided to go the capital city (Kathmandu). My dad and mom were angry and didn?t agree with my decision.
I was new in that place. I had only 500rs, a small stove, a blanket and some clothes with me. I went to Ram?s apartment and shared it. It had just one room. And in one room was the kitchen, bedroom, living. I lived there for about an 1year. I had already started college. After a year I found a job. So, I decided to live alone. I needed to go to college at 5 o?clock in the morning and at 1 o?clock I needed to be at work. I had a tough time there. I had only 3 hrs to go home, make food and have it. Sometime my food used to burn, so I couldn?t eat then and I used to be hungry all day long.
And while, working at bank. We all staff members got a bonus checks of 300rs and we all decided to buy a new bike. I was going to get a new bike for me, but I got a letter from my dad. My family was in trouble. They had took some money for loan, and they cant pay it back. So I send my 300rs to them. At work everyone brought their new bike, but I was on the foot. I was embarrassed and disappointed. As year passed my study was complete & passed from the university. I got a job in one office with very low salary. I was saving some money. And as days passed I got promotion and some rewards. My days were going well. I was made the GM of that office. Every one was happy, and my dad was proud of me. I sent some money every months to help manage the house where I born.
This is how the life goes on every persons life. Its not identical but its similar. And I know there are more obstacles to come.

ANy commentZ

uffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff......m tired now,. yar




Pease Out

id have commented if i read the whole thing... sooooo longggggg..

no way...dyam....what can i say..i actually read it hehee...and its nice :o)..

brought back a lot of nostalgia...well always nice to hear and read about nepal..things to inspire us..and yap it does inspire me to do smthing with the chance i have..just urgh kinda been mentally gone this yr...dunno why...and find it hard to push meself..guess its one of the obstacle im facing now..and i hope i get thru it..have to...cant let the privelege i got compared to others to waste...exams in a few days..and well what am i doing here?hehe urghh...anyways from now on until me exam is over..no more sajha...except to come and say hi to me kukurni :o)...hehe she is me life too ni :o)...

u got a happy ending to ur story..but if only everyones story ended happily it will be so great..well dun know what will happen to me own..but i do hop those pl who work hard will reap their rewards in the end...tho we know that does not always happen..

anyways thanks for writing quite a long piece..and a good one too...well for me it was good...:o)...just reminds me of the hardship most of us nepalis faces(or anyone for it matters)...the tonnes of underprivelege ppl who has the capability but not the chance to do smthing....well life is shit..but nice story..:o)..or is it a story?

cheers...


danny

well, i m happy that and releaved cuz i com to know that m not the only one with some huge delimma, and lonelyness in this world, broda..........

i guess, jasle bhognu parcha, tesley matra taha paucha.........*my opinion*




All da best
dannyboy, and one thin'.....did u read this book "the outsider"......thereZ a character called danny too, and hez like u.........NO OFFeNCE

Well agreed its long, but well, if we look around sajha, more than half of the posting are junk. I believe this article is way up there in the list of good articles, especially considering the absurdity of most of the posting. Some of the postinf, I am sorry to say, should simply be thrown out, but then again, to some it might mean something more. To each to their own, I presume.
Back to the point.A very inspiring piece indeed. I say so coz I have seen some people who have actually been thru all that and succeeded. My teacher Mr. Balmukunda Sir being one of them. I do not know the similarity between the character in the story and my Sir; nevertheless I would assume it must have been quite similar.
I was actually in boarding most (almost all) of my school life. When I used to come home on holidays he (and Ashok Sir) used to come home and teach me and my brother (sometimes). Looking back to those years I can now imagine how hard he used to work. My father always used to admire and give example of him and the likes of him.
I don?t remember meeting him after those years ( I might have) but once after my graduation when I was home I remember my father told me that he met Balmukunda Sir (he somehow used to know abt him) and he wanted me to come and visit him. I really wanted to, but I always thought there would always be next time, I had better things to do hehe :p. And my father went, ? dekhis kasto mehenat garthioo, babu?? dekhis tyasto manche le kehi garcha? timi haru lai tution boarding and all the facilities one can imagine de ko chu. ( there he goes again, I thought hahaha) Tero Sir heer.. aja ?Upa Sachib? bhayo.? This last sentence pleased me.
I wish more success on those people who really work hard and deserve all the accolades and honor they get. As they say," Where you start is not as important as where you finish.? As of me, I am still working towards my destination, but in the mean time I am tryin to enjoy my journey. I just pray for little more courage and determination. Ohhh i am almost there..... almost..........
Sabai ko bhalai hoss sabai ko unnati hoss.
Bangla Mukhi Mata le Sabai ko Kalyan Garun.:)
Jai Banglamukhi Mata.
Indisguise:)

no way bro...

no one is alone in this world i guess..tho we do feel alone...(at least in terms of the feelins we feel hehe..everyone does have their down days and all...if only it was high feelins forever..but well this is life..) and u happy with other ppls misery?;oP dhut...talkin about me?hehe i aitn so much in misery as well millions of ppl out there...and nice sayin :o)...but smtimes one dioesnt have to experience it..some can emphatize ...but maybe not to the same extent ..as the one who is experiencing it..urghhh

and this book?i dun read much these days..who knows i might start again..been too long hehe..last book i read was LOR and dyam how many years ago was that :o| ..whos this book by?got summer comin along i might just get less lazy and start readin again hehe..and he is like me re?hehehe..i dun even know meself..seems like u know me ;oP...well i dunno i will read the book and see if that is me hehe....and nah no offence..im quite honoured..at least somone did try to understand me...dun we all wanna be understood...tho we always get judged and not understood hehe...

anywyas have a great life..:o)...mapani gaye kaam garnu to make sure smthings turn out good for me..:o)


laters...

danny

NicE to hear from IndisGuise & broda danny!!!

Actually, m in break now, so i hav to return to work....... Gotta go, natra muj* yo mero boss le malai fire garcha. 49 jana lai fire gare sakyo, and he wants to half century. and i dont wana b this lucky #50

goody day....brodaZ
aani.....guyz.......ever heard this word.....: "dodgy"......tell me if u hav

m lit' confussed with this word ;)

laterz...........P.Out

No way,
If everything what you said is true, which I believe it is, then you are awesome! I sometimes wonder how lucky I am. Btw, you sure will be happy to look back at your past and pat yourself for a job well done. (Of course, you could have done better.)

To maintain one?s self on this land is a hardship or a pastime??I sometimes wonder which one makes more sense. It is always comforting to feel that you will succeed when you work hard, but that will not always be the case. Although how I wish my life in this world were just a pastime, I can?t take assume so in this materialistic world. Anyway, I am not an escapist; I do believe in struggle and hard work.

no way bro...ur boss cricket fan ho?didnt get any runs in cricket..gettn them at work?wahahaha

and about that "dodgy" word hehe...dun ask me mate..hehe
yo desh ma ayera dodgy word tanna suneyko hehe..
we have dodgy assignments(all hehe)...dodgy tutors(not all hehe)..dodgy lecturers(not all)...dodgy place..the whole country is dodgy!!!the things ppl do here..hehe.....dyam i wanna go to smwhere in the NORTH!hehe hope its less dodgy there...tho one person is freakn dodgy..wanna meet that dodgy person ke ;o) heheh

anyways urgh got tonnes of work...let me know what the "dodgy" means ...ma pani alik confused ;o)....


laters...

danny

well....as u said....north ma dodgy chyina hola! But, broda m in pretty much in north and yaha ta dodgy...nai dodgy! (not all)

Anywayz, why dont u giv a shot @ "south" (but dont go too far towards south)


aani, 'bout boss: i was there @ my job @ time @ right place with right and left hand being ready.

so......i was lookin' for the G.maneger(who is my boss). and i was walkin towards the elevator(thatz wat u call in amrika right?, i thought it was called "lift"). anywayz, i was in the elevator, had to go the 7th floor. therez was a guy, behind meh(black eyes, hair, dark skin) like nepali ppl ***no offence***. thought, i could hav a intro. with him. cuz, i was new, hadnt any frenz, so thought i could make one.

then, i said "dai tapai nepali ho?"

in reply he said: " kya!!!.....aap ney kuch kaha?"

me: twaaa......."no no.....nothin'"




after 30mins.....my turn for the intervew..........

....... thought my boss had a twin broda........but i was wrong.....he was the man whom i meet on the elevator!

so....all i want to say is : indian=cricket loverz ......and this time *yes offence* (khetitititi)
this is not a JOKE



hawguji66......broda...i m very glad that u read my story and understood it. really....never thought i would get this many responce. aani, yea......thatz a true story of mine! (pretty much.....heheheheh)


laterz........gotta go to cook some dinner! eek dam bhok laagi sakyo, aani pheri yo muj* room mates haru pani khana pakau ney hoina...... :(


Pease Out...........:~)

I actually read your story....!!!! It is real a'right... I could sense from the say you wrote. You have a come a long way mate! Kudos!

read *say=way

never thought I'd actually like to complete the whole story but I did. And I somehow could relate to it even though I am a sahariya. nice story. But you slacked off at the end about how you became a GM and stuff. Still I get the vibe.

indsiguise wrote :
ell agreed its long, but well, if we look around sajha, more than half of the posting are junk. I believe this article is way up there in the list of good articles, especially considering the absurdity of most of the posting. Some of the postinf, I am sorry to say, should simply be thrown out, but then again, to some it might mean something more. To each to their own, I presume.
Back to the point.A very inspiring piece indeed. I say so coz I have seen some people who have actually been thru all that and succeeded. My teacher Mr. Balmukunda Sir being one of them. I do not know the similarity between the character in the story and my Sir; nevertheless I would assume it must have been quite similar.
I was actually in boarding most (almost all) of my school life. When I used to come home on holidays he (and Ashok Sir) used to come home and teach me and my brother (sometimes). Looking back to those years I can now imagine how hard he used to work. My father always used to admire and give example of him and the likes of him.


Did this Balmukunda Sir teach in Little Angel's??
I used to go to tuition with him so I asked?

No way -
Thanks for writing about your life struggles and success. It was very touching.
Your parents are blessed to have a son like you.

no way , good job there. read it and enjoyed it..

hawguji, you have presented a solid situation, liked ur view tooo ...

no way bro its a dodgy world yaar....i guess we know that but well..dunno hard to accept it...feel dogdy today ..well always been ..but today more dogdy...dodgy things happened and i guess dodgier things will happen..so well ke ke ke garne..i just wish smtimes time just flew by so fast..that i dun have to expereince the dodginess so slowly but surely..but then again..smtimes kya ramro feelin hunda chai dodgy time eyti chito moves hyaa...if we only could foward it when we wanted to..and stop and slow it when we wanted too..

and i dunno what they call it in america..diff words in diff places..but in the end if we understand it i guess.doesnt matter...he is ur boss?hehe well it did help being friendly didnt it?hehe tho it smtimes doesnt :o)...dodgy ni ;o) hehe

hope u had a great dinner..ma chai not eatin today..roommates haru well same ni...esto dirty sink chha..ma pani urghh..cant take it..pakaunu maaqn lagyo na..and well guess do feel guilty for not cookin..cos hehe thinking of the times they cooked for me..well i think..i hope i cooked enuf times for them too...but no one counts so hehe..i dunno...hehe

cookin is kinda fun hoina..esp if the food turns out right..well for me when im cookin its always an experiment..jay pao thio pakaido..wanna try some new ways..(like steam etc..but alik time pauna..well when will we have time?hoina?) plus i really dunno any dishes..i mean i dun like to what i cook dishes..its all experiments hehe..tho no frens of mine has complained..they are nice ppl :o)...dyam i miss mum's cookin..and nepali food too..hyaaa i should have learned from me mum then...kya jhur feelin ni...esto deprived..and not just in food..but in the end still realising i shouldnt be feelin so jhoor cos im really priveleged comparin with the ppl gettn lesser things...well life ni dogdy i guess we never will feel not deprived...nor will we ever feel its perfect...and appreiciate it as much as we should...

anyways enuf bhak bhak..hope u had a nice day..btw where are u now?US?im in Australia..and well i dunno tho i dun really wanna too..cos i like me anonymity hehe..i do feel like meetin some sajhaites here..well like u hehe..not all...or anyone from australia hehe..long summer hols ni...gonna be most prob meetin up a lot of nepalis frens..and ppl..but i dunno why i do feel that well even with them around..this time its just gonna be a more lonelier summer...well...dunno...being alone seems good..but then again..when u miss someone kya jhuur feelin..


oops....too long bhoyo hehe..anymore inspirational story?just curious was the story about u?or someone u know?:o)...

hope u had a great day...have one later....


danny